More Shit I Gotta Do

I mean to post more interim updates here as I ran around Bouchercon like a madman, but of course between Internet outages, booze, and general incompetence this never happened. Yesterday was a quieter day for me; I didn’t have any panels or events, so I just wandered to other people’s panels and tried to make a nuisance of myself. I checked out Gary Corby’s panel on mysteries in ancient Rome and Greece, which was really great and interesting (best line of the panel: The Roman Empire was the original Tea Party: They didn’t want to pay their own taxes either, and were experts at turning barbarians into taxpayers [I paraphrase; it was much better put in the panel]). Gary Corby is my new intellectual crush, actually. Check out his books.

After a bit of lunch around Union Square with The Duchess, I headed back for a panel moderated by Andrew Grant which was partly obscured by the two people wearing huge, huge, HUGE cowboy hats sitting in front of me. Why I had not thought to bring a jaunty hat to set myself apart, I don’t know. Next time. It’ll be an old-fashioned conical wizard’s hat, with stars and crescent moons on it.

Then, I bumped into Janet My Agent in the bar, and we slowly collected a circus-like group of people, including Gary Corby, Patrick Lee, Dana Cameron, Dan Krokos, Barbara Poelle, and many others. It was much like the Algonquin Round Table of old, I think, although my own memories of the evening are vague and troubling, involving a snake, a dinner jacket, and someone in full clown-makeup. Overall, a fantastic day. Today I’m planning to attend Dana Cameron’s panel, because she is hilarious, but otherwise I shall be a wandering spirit. Cheers!

So far BoucherCon has been an exhausting joy. Cons are always kind of manic – so many people, people who want to talk to you (yes, me, damn you; I am a popular and charming man), people you want to talk to, and just plain people, everywhere. Although, blessedly, at least no one here is wearing a costume.

Yesterday I did my 30-on-30 Panel, which was just me, a bottle of whiskey, and a microphone. Had a surprisingly high turn out – nothing record-breaking, but more people than I’d expected, included fellow authors Dan “The Krokinator” Krokos, fresh from witnessing a felony across the street, Patrick Lee, and Gary Corby, as well as Uber-Agent Suzi Townsend. Long, loooong videos of that panel appear below, for the curious. The Duchess worked the camera and actually shows herself a few times; wave at the screen when she appears!

Afterwards, I signed books in the Book Room, which was fun. I sat next to Yrsa Sigurðardóttir, who was very nice and invited The Duchess and I to look her up if we’re ever in Iceland. The kindness of people often startles me.

Then, the Opening Ceremonies, where Dana Cameron and Sophie Littlefield were robbed during the awards-giving, and Dennis Lehane brought down the house with an introduction to Lee Child (who wears the hell out of a suit, let me tell you) he sent in (he didn’t actually attend). Fun.

Then drinks, dinner, and hilarity with Janet My Agent, Krokos, Suzie, and the Slithery Barbara Poelle and her husband Travis. And now, resting up for Day Two!

Vids of my panel:

My introductory remarks:

My actual presentation:

Questions afterward:
This one turned out to be too long for Youtube, so until I have time to edit it a bit, it must wait. Sorry!

Well, after Janet My Agent’s uproarious panel, I had to hustle: Because I got my slot signiong books so late in the game no one had any of my books here. My publihser, god bless ’em, shipped a box overnight to me, and I had to worm my way into the bowels of the hotel to locate said box and retrieve it. It was a nightmare I will never speak of, nor will I ever explains these stains on my elbows.

Books in hand, I trooped to the Book Room to put on my salesman hat and convince some of the dealers there to offer them to ungry fans. While there my wife The Duchess spied Lee Child prowling around and rushed after him to get an autograph, which just underscored the difference between me (lugging my own books around like a loser) and Lee Child (elegant and being followed by a camera crew). Screw you, universe.

Then it was off to buy liquor for my 30-on-30 session. Right now I’m taking a quiet moment to gird my loins for that panel (and yes, “girding my loins” does mean “drinking booze”, what of it?). Whew!

So, it’s 7AM here. After a long flight yesterday, The Duchess and I played some hooky and drove around Sonoma pretending we weren’t exhausted and bloated from the plane trip, then passed out in the hotel for a while. I tweeted our arrival and when I woke up this morning I had a bunch of “WE ARE IN THE BAR WHERE ARE YOU” messages, which makes me feel loved.

I’ve never done BoucherCon before, so this is going to be interesting. I’m attending my first panel at 10AM this morning (my lovely and fierce agent will be on it) and then we’re off to the races until my vaguely-defined, possibly career-ending 30-on-30 event at 3pm. Watch the skies for news of an author stripping naked and assaulting his audience around 3:20pm.

And now: Coffee, and lots of it. Then I register and take a spin around to orient myself. If you’re here, feel free to walk up to me and say hello – I’ll be the guy in glasses, unshaven, wearing his standard Author Costume: Wrinkled shirt, jeans, sneakers, blue blazer, hangover, defeat, and suspicion.

Okey dokey, so here’s my Bouchercon schedule in case anyone out there is also going and wants to track me down. I don’t carry a cell phone, so too bad on that front. Yer just going to have to find me!

I start at the Con on Thursday morning. I’ll be running around like a jackass – try to hit me on Twitter or email if you’re looking for me. I am doing a “30 on 30” panel thingie, where I basically just talk for 30 minutes about anything. Room: Seacliff D, 3pm, Thursday 10/14. Come on in if you can’t get into the better panels.

The rest of my time there will be spent trying to find people to buy me drinks, so look for the sad-looking fellow with the WILL DANCE FOR BOOZE sign around his neck.