More Shit I Gotta Do

Jersey City Writers

Author: April 3, 2014 2 Comments

SO, last night I was invited to speak at the first-ever Genre Night for Jersey City Writers. Now, I was born and raised in Jersey City and I currently live a 5 minute walk away from that city, but when I was a kid it didn’t have writer’s groups. It had gangs, yes, and Boy Scouts. But no writer’s groups. So this was exciting stuff.

The event was held at the Freshly Baked Gallery on Monmouth Street in JC – it’s a delightful little space in the middle of a sleepy block in a newly revitalized area of the city. If you click through you’ll see a lot of really neat pieces – The Duchess and I were really intrigued by a couple of them.

Naturally, I was awkward. We walked in and after greeting Meg Merriet, who organized everything, The Duchess and I sat up front trying to look casual while an alarmingly large crowd filled the space. I turned to the Duchess.

“Think there’s a window in the back I can fit through? I’m terrified. I think I just wet myself.”

She slapped me violently and warned me not to embarrass her in public.

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Fiction, More Shit I Gotta Do, Trickster

Ancient History

Author: October 28, 2013 1 Comment

Avery Cates

The other day I discovered I had a Blogger account. I’d forgotten all about it. For a while I was using it to contribute to the grand Xerography Debt Blog (where I still have posting privs if I could remember my log in and had some time) but I originally created it as part of an ambitious bit of DIY promotion for The Electric Church. This was back in the ancient days right after I’d sold the book, but before anything had actually happened. I spent a lot of time on a lot of things that eventually crystallized into the ARG on the Electric Church website.

One of my genius ideas was going to be the creation of dozens of blogs that would tell the stories of people living in the TEC universe. Not necessarily characters from the books, but just random stories. They would refer to each other in oblique ways and one by one “discover” and start discussing the official TEC web site, which was set up to be the actual website for an organization known as The Electric Church. Here’s thew two I actually set up:

http://livinginthesystem.blogspot.com/

http://kitlarmuan.tripod.com/

Not much. Shortly afterwards the publisher offered to help me with site design and promotion, and suddenly my little DIY attempts didn’t seem to make any sense. So this was as far as I got with my little one-man sockpuppet promo army. It’s kind of fascinating that these are still out there, almost seven years gone now. Reminds me of the endless unfinished novels on my hard drive.

Avery Cates, More Shit I Gotta Do

Dialogue: Between the Lines

Author: October 19, 2013 1 Comment

f658f885-0c5f-40f3-9d84-e583d1482387_dialogue-new-logoSO, since I am very busy and important, I will taking part in a PodCast run by the terrific Susan Wingate:

WHEN: Thursday, 10/24, 1PM EST

WHERE: http://dialoguebetweenthelines.com

We’ll discuss books, writing, and other related topics. Assuming I am sober. Also assuming I can work this crazy thing called The Internet, or a phone.

Tune in and cackle as I stutter, speak amazing malapropisms, and make a fool of myself (as usual).

More Shit I Gotta Do

FREAKS of the INDUSTRY: Two Days in the UnCanny Valley of New York Comic Con

Author: October 1, 2013 0 Comments

Since I’m returning to the hallowed halls of NY Comic Con for the first time since 2009, I figured it was a good time to revisit this essay from The Inner Swine that dealt with my previous experience.

MY NAME is Jeff Somers and I’m a writer. I’ve written a lot of things you almost certainly have never ever heard of but currently I’m most known for the Avery Cates series published by Orbit Books. People think that being a published author is a glamorous life filled with champagne and solid gold toilets but let me set you straight: I spend my days with four cats wandering my house in a tattered bathrobe clutching a bottle of booze to my chest and muttering.

Since the Avery Cates books are Science Fiction novels and are by the way the greatest novels ever written in the English language and if you don’t buy copies IMMEDIATELY you will suffer from cultural illiteracy and be mocked at parties, it was decided that I should attend this year’s New York Comic Con as a Literary Guest, where I would attempt to charm and bamboozle the good, pious fans of the Earth into paying some small attention to me. So I gathered my courage, put on some pants, and with my wife The Duchess in tow and we headed off to Two Days in the Uncanny Valley of the Javits Convention Center in New York.

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Avery Cates, Deep Thoughts & Pronouncements, More Shit I Gotta Do

NYC Comic Con, Here I Come

Author: October 1, 2013 0 Comments

nyccSO, I will be attending Comic Con in NYC this October – your prayers have been answered, whether those prayers have to do with seeing me in person at a huge event or knowing precisely where I will be one day this month in order to rob my house while I am absent. And several scenarios in-between, ranging from assassination to leaving $9.2 million in drug money in my living room so I can establish an irrevocable trust in your son’s name.

DATE & TIME: Most of this is to TBD, but I’ll be there on Thursday October 10.

WHY IN GOD’S NAME: I’ll be signing and giving away free copies of Part 1 of my upcoming novel We Are Not Good People, otherwise known as Trickster. If you read Trickster this year and thought you’d read the whole book, you would be wrong. It’s just part 1.

Oh, I’ll also do other things: Sign anything, be giving away whatever I have in my pockets, dancing for nickles, and generally abusing myself.

If you’re going to be at NYCC yourself on the 10th, let me know and let’s try to meet up, chat, have coffee, whatever. If you’re there on another day, let me know anyway and maybe we can meet outside the con (my badge is just for the 10th). Email me at jdxs@jeffreysomers.com if you want to try to get together.

ONWARD!

BAM!, More Shit I Gotta Do

I’ve Been Steampunked

Author: August 21, 2013 0 Comments

Win ALL the things.

Win ALL the things.

Over at Lynn Viehl’s Toriana Blog (Lynn is the author of the Disenchanted & Co. books I created trailers for a few weeks ago) I took part in a regular “Steampunking” series where authors are asked jolly questions and give jolly answers. Go check it out!

“1. If you could replace one piece of current technology with a steam-powered equivalent, what would you swap out, and what would you call it?

The coffee maker. My coffee maker right now is basically Star Trek: It uses those little pods and it’s like you insert this obscure plastic thingamabob and then coffee is dispensed. For all I know the plastic pods are the currency of aliens who accept my sacrifice and give me coffee in return.”

AND ALSO TOO there is a grand giveaway, where you could win all the stuff pictured here: — Unsigned paperback copies of the complete Avery Cates series along with Trickster, The Writer’s Lab by Sexton Burke, Writing the Paranormal Novel by Steven Harper, How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You, The Geek edition of Magnetic Poetry, A typewriter-shaped notepad, The Predict-a-Pen, Handy bookmarks, A brand-new black and denim O’Neill backpack. What are you waiting for?

BAM!, More Shit I Gotta Do, Trickster

A Contest

Author: August 19, 2013 1 Comment

www.chumthenovel.com

www.chumthenovel.com

SO, as many of you already know, my next novel is titled “Chum” and will be published by Tyrus Books in a month (9/18/13 to be exact). So we’ve been gearing up some modest hoopla to celebrate the fact.

Giveaway the First: Tyrus Books has five copies up for giveaway at Goodreads. If you’re a GR member, surf over and sign up!

Giveaway the Second: Naturally I want to do my own thing, so here’s the deal. A modest contest, in three simple steps:

1. Surf on over the Chum’s official web site, www.chumthenovel.com.

2. Click on Your Wishes, then Add Your Own Thoughts.

3. Leave message for Mary and Dave on the occasion of their marriage.

I’ll leave this open until 9/17. On 9/18 I’ll choose the 10 most entertaining, most unique, most whatever entries and give those people a signed free copy each, plus perhaps some mystery extras. Or perhaps not.

Note: Be sure to leave a real email on the guestbook page so I can actually contact you if I choose your note!

More to come, if I stay sober.

BAM!, CHUM, More Shit I Gotta Do

I Been Interviewed

Author: March 31, 2013 0 Comments

Hola! I was interviewed by the very smart and funny Larry Gent (whose first novel is coming out soon) over at 42webs:

“2) What research goes into a book centered on self mutilation? (insert obvious emo music joke)

I think your standard issue adolescence is all that is required, actually. Including the Emo Music. Which we all have far more of then we’re ready to admit. J’accuse!

In other words: None research. None whatsoever. That’s how I like to roll: Ignorant and defensive.”

Go check it out and tell me how cool I ain’t.

BAM!, Deep Thoughts & Pronouncements, More Shit I Gotta Do