Avery Cates

Prompting the Question

Author: jsomers December 27, 2014 3 Comments

Just a story.

So, as noted in this great review from Matt Handle, many people are assuming/hoping that the new Avery Cates story The Shattered Gears is a teaser for a new Cates novel. I’ve had a lot of emails along those lines, asking if this is leading to something and if I have a clear storyline for a new Cates book, and whether The Shattered Gears is part of that.

The answer is yes and no. Yes, I have a very clear idea of what Cates gets up to and a lot of notes for a new novel. And yes, The Shattered Gears is directly connected, so it’s canon, baby. In fact, Gears started off as a way of organizing some thoughts for a new Cates book. But no, I have no plans to write that book right now. It will remain just a collection of ideas for now.

The same goes for We Are Not Good People and the Ustari universe. Do I have ideas for another novel or fifteen with Lem and Mags? Sure! Am I working on them right now? No! Reasons include:

It’s the holidays and I am incapacitated by drink more or less continuously
No one has paid me an enormous amount of money to write those novels (yet)
My work writing and composing the world’s worst rock songs in my home office takes too much of my time
I’m far too busy perfecting my Irish accent
I’m actually in the middle of writing a novel now that not only has nothing to do with Cates or Lem Vonnegan, it has nothing to do with cyborgs or magic at all.

Anyways, I’m delighted people seem to enjoy The Shattered Gears so much. If it sells well I might make releasing Cates stories a more or less regular event, though not all of those potential stories would be directly related to a new storyline, some might be flashbacks. Who knows? It might be fun.

Anyways, you know the best way to guarantee sequels? Buy the existing books and then emotionally manipulate everyone you know to follow suit.

Avery Cates, Fiction, Ustari Cycle, We Are Not Good People, Writing

A New Avery Cates Short

Author: jsomers December 12, 2014 5 Comments

UPDATE: Links for Nook and Google Play added below.

So, this happened:

In jotting down notes for an Avery Cates sequel or three a while ago, I started with a story fragment which turned into about 10,000 words of actual story. I sat on it for a while, but never had time to get back to a full-fledged novel (what with working on We Are Not Good People and writing blogs for what seems like half the Internet).

And so, last week, I thought, what the heck, let’s just publish the story as it is. And so I have.

The Shattered Gears is an all-new Avery Cates story that picks up shortly after where The Final Evolution left off. Avery’s had a little time to orient himself in the ruined world he now resides in, and there are plenty of hints there are more adventures to be had. Mysterious inhuman figures, an abandoned prison, and … The Howler. And Avery slowly gets his mojo back.

A lot of fun to return to this character and this universe, and I hope y’all enjoy it too. It’s currently available for pre-order at Amazon and Kobo, and will shortly show up on B&N for Kindle and Google Play. Just 99 cents American money, kids. Enjoy!

B&N Nook

Google Play

Avery Cates, BAM!

Cocksucker Blues: Profanity When Reading in Public

Author: jsomers September 2, 2014 5 Comments

This initially appeared in The Inner Swine Volume 16, Issue 1/2 Summer 2010.

The glamorous life of a writer.

FRIENDS, I occasionally read from my fiction in public, which is surprising, since I am frequently drunk, pantsless, and belligerent. Since I am not a BIG STAR in the literary world, I almost never get to read all by myself, which is good because when I’m sharing a stage I can imagine that the audience hates the other readers and not, as would be my natural assumption otherwise, me.

Sharing the bill with other readers does however present me with another problem: Invariably, I am teamed up with writers who read beautiful, lyrical pieces of prose involving elves or Grey Aliens who contemplate the universe and seek enlightenment, and then I stand up and read a piece that is is 84% the words fuck and cocksucker.

COCKSUCKER BLUES

There is, simply, a lot of cursing in the Avery Cates books. Well, in all my fiction, actually, because, frankly, people curse in real life. I’ve been peppering my speech with cuss words since I was about nine years old, and I was a late bloomer in my neighborhood. I worry about it when I read in public, though; not because my audiences are filled with blue-haired old ladies who will die from shock—the people who actually attend any reading I do are quite prepared for a little cursing—but because I am the blue-haired lady in this scenario. Somehow I become all guilt-ridden and Catholic when I find myself having to shout cocksucker at the top of my voice in a room filled with strangers.

There are three approaches to this situation:

BOWDLERIZE

One, I can bowdlerize my own writing and replace every curse word with its prime-time equivalent, frick for fuck and all that jazz. This has the unfortunate side effect of making me resemble the berries and cream lad.

THE CURSE WHISPERER

Two, I can read the text as is but keep the volume low so I don’t feel like a nun is going to time travel from my past, rap my knuckles, and steal my pants.

GUSTO, MOTHERFUCKER!

Finally, I can read the text as is but emphasize every curse word with something that can only be described as gusto, delighting in the sudden freedom of being able to shout curses at a crowd and not be arrested. Generally I choose the latter as it promises the least humiliation, and everyone seems to enjoy themselves.

####

This hangup only exists when I’m reading out loud to people; when I’m writing I have no problem dropping language so foul it would make your nose hairs burn. In my everyday life I generally go around cloaked in what I have dubbed White Boy Politeness, which is a way of behaving towards people that generally makes folks want to rub your head and call you a good lad, even thirteen-year-old kids who would otherwise be knifing you for meth money.

This sometimes causes a minor bout of mental dissonance when people meet me for the first time just prior to a reading. I am all, shucks, nice to meet you, did you know I was an Eagle Scout? And then I am all fuck you, cocksucker.

Of course, this is nothing compared to my other public reading foible, which is spontaneous and inexplicable pantslessness. So if all you ever experience during one of my readings is some rough language, consider yourself: lucky.

Avery Cates, Deep Thoughts & Pronouncements, The Inner Swine

Ancient History

Author: jsomers October 28, 2013 1 Comment

Avery Cates

The other day I discovered I had a Blogger account. I’d forgotten all about it. For a while I was using it to contribute to the grand Xerography Debt Blog (where I still have posting privs if I could remember my log in and had some time) but I originally created it as part of an ambitious bit of DIY promotion for The Electric Church. This was back in the ancient days right after I’d sold the book, but before anything had actually happened. I spent a lot of time on a lot of things that eventually crystallized into the ARG on the Electric Church website.

One of my genius ideas was going to be the creation of dozens of blogs that would tell the stories of people living in the TEC universe. Not necessarily characters from the books, but just random stories. They would refer to each other in oblique ways and one by one “discover” and start discussing the official TEC web site, which was set up to be the actual website for an organization known as The Electric Church. Here’s thew two I actually set up:

http://livinginthesystem.blogspot.com/

http://kitlarmuan.tripod.com/

Not much. Shortly afterwards the publisher offered to help me with site design and promotion, and suddenly my little DIY attempts didn’t seem to make any sense. So this was as far as I got with my little one-man sockpuppet promo army. It’s kind of fascinating that these are still out there, almost seven years gone now. Reminds me of the endless unfinished novels on my hard drive.

Avery Cates, More Shit I Gotta Do

FREAKS of the INDUSTRY: Two Days in the UnCanny Valley of New York Comic Con

Author: jsomers October 1, 2013 0 Comments

Since I’m returning to the hallowed halls of NY Comic Con for the first time since 2009, I figured it was a good time to revisit this essay from The Inner Swine that dealt with my previous experience.

MY NAME is Jeff Somers and I’m a writer. I’ve written a lot of things you almost certainly have never ever heard of but currently I’m most known for the Avery Cates series published by Orbit Books. People think that being a published author is a glamorous life filled with champagne and solid gold toilets but let me set you straight: I spend my days with four cats wandering my house in a tattered bathrobe clutching a bottle of booze to my chest and muttering.

Since the Avery Cates books are Science Fiction novels and are by the way the greatest novels ever written in the English language and if you don’t buy copies IMMEDIATELY you will suffer from cultural illiteracy and be mocked at parties, it was decided that I should attend this year’s New York Comic Con as a Literary Guest, where I would attempt to charm and bamboozle the good, pious fans of the Earth into paying some small attention to me. So I gathered my courage, put on some pants, and with my wife The Duchess in tow and we headed off to Two Days in the Uncanny Valley of the Javits Convention Center in New York.

(more…)

Avery Cates, Deep Thoughts & Pronouncements, More Shit I Gotta Do

Without Further Comment

Author: jsomers May 24, 2013 5 Comments

A review of The Digital Plague, Avery Cates #2:

“This was my first Jeff Somers book, and I will be avoiding any other books from the series. I would have rated this book 3 or 4 stars if not for the overuse of the F-Word. The F-ING writing style is F-ING like this: If you are F-ING fine with having to deal with the the F-ING F-Word, sometimes twice in the same F-ING sentence, then F-ING go for it. I’m not overly sensitive. I use the same word myself at dumb drivers, for example. My objection is the way it detracts from the narrative, like having a conversation with a person with limited vocabulary, throwing in F-bombs throughout their conversation.”

That is all.

Avery Cates, F-Bomb Project

An Essay and Two Reviews

Author: jsomers April 18, 2013 0 Comments

Over at the glittering blog Geeks Versus Nerds, I have an awesome guest post:

“So, yeah, I’d love to have my life recorded for me. Although what would happen then is that I would always intend to go back and cull out the boring stuff – the bathroom breaks, the time spent doing nothing – and hone it down to a grand documentary called Jeff Fucking Somers and then I’d never get around to it.”

It may be the greatest thing you ever read. Or not. I don’t know, frankly.

ALSO! In what might appear to be some sort of payment for my awesome guest post but which certainly was not, Geeks Versus Nerds also reviewed Trickster:

“I love urban fantasy, I blame The Dresden Files for that, and I love the wonder that could be hiding in the shadows of the streets we walk every day. But everything always seems to stay in the shadows. There is rarely any consequences when the Vampire declare war or when the Fae revolt. UF also seems to have, despite its dark atmosphere, a rosy feel to it. Everything will always work out. Jeff Somers seems to ignore both of that. When shit start to explode it takes millions of ‘normals’ with them. Jeff’s UF world is dark and gritty. It’s full of backstabbing and horrifying people and that’s before the cutting starts.”

HUZZAH.

AND ALSO! The Electric Church, book #1 in the Avery Cates series, was reviewed by The Taichung Bookworm:

“If the set-up sounds equally insane and implausible then you’re absolutely correct and let me assure you – that’s part of the fun. The Electric Church is an oil-burning page-turner playing like a pulp novel yet with a serious literary bent. Jeff Somers obviously spent some large portion of his life wolfing down Hammett, Chandler and their lesser-known ilk and portrays bustling, seedy dives and wandering, down-on-their-luck loners with a natural ease. Cates is such a grim, sardonic anti-hero that he often seems in danger of falling into caricature before saving himself with his stark insights into the rigged nature of the game he’s forced to play.The team of broken, conniving rejects he rounds up as his crack team and the decaying world they inhabit all contribute to the atmosphere of hopelessness which all must overcome.”

Not bad for a book that came out in 2007. And now: Celebratory drinks for everyone! Note: Must supply your own celebratory drinks.

Avery Cates, BAM!, Deep Thoughts & Pronouncements, Fiction, Trickster