We Hates Wikipedia

Friends, I used to have a Wikipedia page. It was a thing of beauty.

Okay, I created it myself. I certainly can’t be the first self-centered author to go ahead and create his own Wikipedia entry. I mean, why shouldn’t the world be blessed with knowledge of: Me? That’s right: no reason. So I created my own page. It was restrained, bare-boned, and merely provided information about me to those who had a bizarre desire for same.

And then, one day not too long ago, someone tagged it as unnecessary on the grounds that I was not a “prominent” writer, and after a few weeks it was culled.

I didn’t get involved with the debate over whether to keep it or not. While I had no qualms about creating my own page, I didn’t think it seemly to go in there and actually campaign to keep it–let the Cosmos decide, I figured. And then the Cosmos did, indeed, decide–and my WP page was no more. Damn you all.

I mention this for no reason, of course. I have a blog to fill if I want my corporate masters to feed me, after all–in a few weeks this will be filled with laundry lists, diary entries in which I do nothing but write diary entries into this blog, and, finally, random poundings of the keyboard which I will refer to as ‘poetry’. I would never try to incite the three or four people who actually read this blog into creating a new WP for me. That would be pathetic. And one thing I struggle day-in and day-out to not be, is pathetic.

I sometimes fail, of course, in that struggle. Especially after some liquor.

Meanwhile, Internet miscreants around the world have discovered the official site for The Electric Church and are emailing me for clues to the puzzles therein. This is fun. I know all the answers, of course, but unless someone is willing to fly here and buy me some drinks, I ain’t talkin’.


  1. gavsstudio

    RE: Wikipedia

    That’s mad that is. How are we supposed to find out more information about obscure things if people go round deleting things…they can’t be short of space surely!

  2. jsomers (Post author)

    Well, on the one hand Reasonable Jeff sez, you can’t just let any old scamp create pages about people who no one in their right mind care about–e.g., me–and you have to defend against self-centered jackasses–e.g., me–who like to crate pages about themselves.

    On the other hand Unreasonable Jeff, who I refer to as Mongo and fear greatly, is angry. And hungry.

  3. Vman

    you fargen bastage :). But seriously, can you just tell me, yes or no, If I need to know the names of the chapters and the numbers beneath them to solve the login puzzle? if you help me, I will buy your book, no lie…

  4. jsomers (Post author)

    Since you use my real first name, Fargen, I assume we know each other personally and therefore have no qualms about answering: Of C-


  5. Vman

    allright then, screw your book and website…

    who am i kidding, Im a junkie, gimme my next fix man pleeeeeeeeeease!!!

  6. Caren

    Well, Warner is publishing you, so put your entry back up. You’ve also been in “Best American” a few times. That’s more than most of us.

  7. jsomers (Post author)

    Vman: Workin on it

    Caren: Well, Best American just once. But it seems unseemly to do my own self-centered fluffing. I should have minions for that! Er, did I say “minions”? I meant valued friends.

  8. BillL

    No Wikipedia entry? Yeesh, perhaps I should delete you from the ISFDB too, only I just went to the trouble of linking there to here.

    Good luck with the book, send the helper monkeys over to the ISFDB to enter any more you do.

  9. jsomers (Post author)


    Thanks! That’s great. I’m a little honored.

    Of course, if you now realize your msitake and want to delete me, I’d totally understand.

  10. Kaiya

    How can something seeming so trivial at first have so many people hooked? Argghh the lack of finding what I (sorry we) all need is so annoying but fun. This is awesome, I’m so hooked, I NEED MORE and fast 🙂 After getting so involved in this the book is already pre-ordered.
    Oh and if you give me some clues I’ll probably fly out from the UK, but it’ll be more than drinks 😉

  11. jsomers (Post author)


    Thanks–I’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself. Hope the book lives up to it.

    As for clues–drinks always tempt me, but my publisher might beat me if I gave out clues, and I’m not sure I actually know all there is to know!


  12. Kaiya

    I know for sure that the book will more than live up to it 🙂 Nothing has ever got me this hooked, this even beats my past addiction to World of Warcraft *grins*
    As for the clue, I know what I’m looking for, it’s just not being able to get to it at the moment.
    Anyway, keep up the good work 🙂

  13. Vman

    Well you see Kaiya, I’ve tried the hostile/pleading like a poor hobo without weed or booze, and you’ve tried the friendly/wooing attempt, and this man’s lips are sealed

    damn you lol

  14. Kaiya

    Vman, yeah,seems like nothing is working at the moment *sighs*, maybe I need to up my level and turn on the womanly charm a bit more LOL

  15. Adam C

    Kaiya, the man has a “gorgeous” wife, remember? He said so himself! Apparently, she’s unnaturally strong, or Mr. Somers there, with all of his hermitry, is unnaturally weak? Too many scotches I think.

    Nevertheless, it seems the only way we’ll get the man to talk is to actually buy him a drink! Or buy the book, whichever.

    Jeff, if you want to give me the name, phone number and address of your publishers, I’ll surely, umm, politely request, the information we need.

    *cracks knuckles*

  16. jsomers (Post author)


    My wife will have something to say about that, and it won’t be pretty.

    On the other hand: Girl fight. Hmmmnn…


  17. jsomers (Post author)


    All are true: The Duchess is unnaturally strong and I am unnnaturally weak. And also too, too many scotches.

    My publisher is Orbit Books. Personally, I’m terrified of my editor, but if you’re more powerful than me, feel free to try some intimidation.


  18. Adam C

    Yeah, they said no. The bastards! :shakefist:

  19. Vman

    Well we got the login and password Jeff, you may be glad/disinterested to know that, but guess what, we have another login/password puzzle and now we dont even have the login. ARG!!!!11!11

  20. jsomers (Post author)


    My Corporate Masters are devious bastards, ain’t they?


  21. Adam C

    TheY sure are. I want to KIll ‘Em THoroughly.

    Ok, maybe just a good punch in the face.

    Maybe I’ll just scream.

    A stern talking to should be good enough.

    Ok, so maybe just send them a rude email.

    Fine, I’ll just sit here and stew at my PC.

  22. F

    So the cabal at Wikipedia apparently thinks you are less important than a pokeman card, since apparently every single one has an entry.

    You wouldn’t happen to know which blogs your publisher has decided to purchase ads on?

  23. jsomers (Post author)


    Well, when you put it that way. . .it makes me even sadder. If you wanted to make Jeff cry, mission accomplished.

    Nope, no idea about the blogs. Sorry!


  24. F

    oops, that was meant to be a statement on Wikipedia’s misplaced priorities, which value trivial game pieces above authors. Now dry your tears, and have something to drink.

  25. Adam C

    We should write a letter to Wiki stating that not only should they add Somers to their author inventory, but also the-electric-church.com to their ARG inventory.


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