Lifers In the 21st Century

Kids, many many moons ago, I published my first novel, called Lifers. It got reviewed in The New York Times and The Philadelphia Inquirer and sold about as well as a can of syphilis. What can you do? Everyone’s got to have a first novel, and this one is mine. I still have a great deal of affection for the book.

It went out of print years ago; aside from the copies currently selling for $87.45 on Amazon (!) I have a few hundred littering my crawlspace. Happy to sell a signed copy to anyone, make me an offer. And then I thought, well, why not put it out on Kindle and Nook? WHY NOT? Aside from the fact that by now anyone vaguely interested in this novel has purchased a copy and thus my sales will be crushingly low, there is no reason not to. So I did.

You can now buy Lifers at Amazon and Barnes & Noble for $1.99 to read on their respective reading devices:

Lifers for Amazon Kindle

Lifers for BN Nook

Go on! As an added incentive, if you ever see me in public, show me Lifers on your device and I will buy you drink, a bar of chocolate, or give you a hug (your choice) on the spot.


  1. BlueMan

    Was holding out for a special 10-year anniversary edition like Gaiman did, but OK, bought it.

  2. patty blount

    A bar of chocolate?!? SOLD!

  3. Pete Harris

    Bought it!

  4. Abigail

    read the first two ac books. hey, if he can make
    it, why not me. made a crap day better-fer me. why have all three fans of lifers not actually said whether or not it is good enough to read? dammit, now i have to pay a (whole two bucks? i will save my pennies up.) and find out. since mr. cates is interesting enough thus far, i have hope…you have my man to thank for this commentary aka running my mouth via a keyboard since he thought it would appeal to me. he’s a sweetie. thanks for your imagination.

  5. jsomers (Post author)


    Thanks! Be warned, though; Lifers is not much like the Cates books. If you do take a chance and buy it, let me know what you think!


  6. Reverend Matthew

    Jeff – if I wanted to procure one of these signed copies of Lifers, what would I have to do? Send you money? Send you a dismembered thumb with notarized statement of origin? Send you both?

    I only ask because I have money, and I can probably get the thumb, but I’d like to try to avoid felony assault if at all possible. If it’s unavoidable, that’s cool too. I have a few people who I can persuade to be donors.

  7. jsomers (Post author)

    Mistah Reverend,

    $5 in the mail is all it takes, bubba: POB 3024, Hoboken, NJ 07030. Don’t forget to include your address and any inscription you’d like to specify!

    Thumbs actually count against you, FYI.


Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.