It’s All Happening

Ah, the writing life. The indignities we sensitive artist types have to endure. The slings and arrows of unsatisfied readers, the hell of promotion–it is all ours to enjoy. A few things:

– First off, The Electric Church was involved in Fantasy Book Spot’s 2007 best Of Tournament, and before I even knew clearly what was happening TEC lost 6-1 to Gene Wolfe’s Pirate Freedom. For god’s sake, I was put up against Gene fricking Wolfe. If I’m going to be put up against geniuses – the man wrote The Book of the New Sun, a work I am still struggling to fully comprehend – then I might as well just go home. Damn you all.

But at least I didn’t suffer the indignity that Nick Mamatas suffered in the same tournament.

– Secondly, The Digital Plague, TEC’s sequel, has just been optioned by The Science Fiction Book Club! That totally rocks.

– Finally, I’ll be reading at KGB Bar in Manhattan in August. HUZZAH! Number one, me reading. Number two, me doing something other than heartfelt wishing to promote my own books. Number three, a tavern. Damn–I can get liquored up, stumble to the microphone, pass out, and still get credit for promoting my books! It’s a win-win!

WHEN: August 20th, 2008,
WHERE: KBG Bar, 85 East 4th Street, NY, NY
WHY: Jeff drinks and can only read when drunk

I realize this is a bit early, but naturally, all of you are coming. Simply by reading this post you have agreed to attend this reading. No, seriously–my last reading could politely be described as a debacle, so I will be using all manner of pleading, cajoling, threats and chicanery to get people to come to this one, so you might as well mark your calendar. If I have to slip you a mickey, roll you up in carpet, and drive you there in a van myself, I will. Don’t push me on this.


  1. Craig

    Dag-nabbit! Had we known you were in a contest, we could have fixed, uh, won fair and square. Heck, I have enough family members to overcome a 6-1 defeat. [That is if you count the dog. I do.]

    New York City! That IS a long way to drive for a reading. Even if it’s you, oh great one, doing the reading. Perhaps I’ll wait on the youtube version.

  2. jsomers (Post author)


    Aw, now, that wouldn’t be sporting, campaigning. I like to think of myself as an 18th century Prefidential candidate: Campaigning is for the lower classes.

    As for missing my reading, I can give you the highlights even a few months out:

    1. I will be slightly drunk when I get to the podium

    2. I will likely mispronounce my own book’s title.

    3. I will make at least one joke that no one will get.

    4. I will pick a passage from the book that contains lots of difficult bits, like accents and conversations with several characters, and it will devolve into one long panic attack.

    There! You have missed nothing. As far as YouTube goes, that would be fun. Anyone want to come and film me?

  3. Diamat

    You took a point of Gene Wolfe! Your place in the pantheon of immortals in now assured. As is a wallop of bourbon, in the near future.

  4. Diamat

    Err… that would be ‘off of Gene Wolfe’, of course. Meh, y’know what I mean. I should stop emptying the flask into my morning coffee.

  5. jsomers (Post author)


    I suppose you could look at it that way. All, right, I will: I HAVE TAKE A VOTE FROM GENE WOLFE. I AM TEH GREATEST.


    As for not emptying the flask, my goodness, I did that once and it was horrible. Suddenly the house was a mess, the bills were unpaid, and I was a flabby thirtysomething with unattractive, frightening hair. I quickly took a few belts and soon everything was right again.


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