Ask Jeff Anything 11-10-10

Hola: Here’s another turgid episode of Ask Jeff Anything, this time with a question Patty Blount regarding my not-so-secret computer geekdom aspirations. Like most of my other aspirations, these lay in a thick carpet of ashes:

More questions, please. Remember: Ask me anything!


  1. Patty Blount

    *laughs* This was great! Thanks, Jeff.

    I had a Commodore Vic 20 and spent a weekend typing a BASIC program into it. It, too, never worked.

    One of my favorite tech wizardry in your books is ‘gesturing’ at computers. Nice touch.

  2. Sarah W

    So, on average, you’re a successful computer geek.

    Rock on, sir.

    I have a question: Do you have any answers ready for questions you haven’t been asked yet? And if so, could you please share one of those answers – and the matching question?

  3. jsomers (Post author)

    Sarah: I’d be willing to share the answers *without* the questions. Final offer.

  4. jsomers (Post author)

    Patty: Eh, that’s not so far away. Right now we have “gestures” with the mouse, if you want them; MS just released the Kinect. How far are we from “Minority Report”? Not far.

  5. Sarah W

    Jeff: Sold.

  6. Patty Blount

    The Kinect is on my wish list this year.

    Minority Report and ‘thought police’ – *shivers* If anyone knew what I really thought…um, wait… that’s called writing.

  7. jsomers (Post author)


    1. 1976
    2. Testors Airplane Glue
    3. Hammer Pants
    4. A girl named Kim with red hair and tight jeans, her hand in my back pocket
    5. “Got to be good looking ’cause he’s so hard to see”
    6. Chris
    7. Dance of the Sugarplum Faeries
    8. 215 Hamilton Street
    9. Behind the old china cabinet in the basement
    10. I was, though I’ll never admit it to anyone, not even you

    Note: There are actual questions that these are answers to. Ciao. J

  8. jsomers (Post author)

    Patty: I worry the Kinect would study me, recording my affectations and tics, and then one day an exact duplicate of me arrivees and it has all my moves because the Kinect has been watching. And no one would ever know.

  9. Pete H

    Would the duplicate be sans-culottes? That’d be the clincher.

    Aside: I promised you a bottle of whiskey in exchange for an Inner Swine lifetime subscription…I haven’t forgotten! Things have just been tight this year.

    I will endeavor to liquor you up after the festive season!

    Keep up the crazy,


  10. Andrew Bellware

    Don’t look now but there’s a cat — at least one — behind you.

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