Jeff Somers (www.jeffreysomers.com) was first sighted in Jersey City, New Jersey after the destruction of a classified government installation in the early 1970s; the area in question is still too radioactive to go near. When asked about this, he will only say that he regrets nothing. He is the author of Lifers, the Avery Cates series from Orbit Books (avery-cates.com), Chum from Tyrus Books, and the Ustari Cycle from Pocket/Gallery, including We Are Not Good People (wearenotgoodpeople.com).
Jeff’s published over thirty short stories as well; his story “Sift, Almost Invisible, Through” appeared in the anthology Crimes by Moonlight, published by Berkley Hardcover and edited by Charlaine Harris and his story “Ringing the Changes” was selected for Best American Mystery Stories 2006. He survives on the nickels and quarters he regularly finds behind his ears, his guitar playing is a plague upon his household, and his lovely wife The Duchess is convinced he would wither and die if left to his own devices, but this is only half true.
Today, he makes beer money by writing amazing things for various people. Favorite whiskey: Glenmorangie 10 Year. Yes, it is acceptable to pay me in it.
Here's a picture of Jeff giving a speech at Mepham High School on Long Island for the National English Honor Society induction on April 9, 2019, just to prove that some people think he's smart. (Photo credit: Jeff Somers; released under Creative Commons)
If you’re looking to get a book signed by me but haven’t been able to catch one of my awesome public appearances, good news! You can order a copy of any of my books from Hoboken’s greatest book store, Little City Books, and they’ll get me to sign it and ship it to you!
Little City Books, 100 Bloomfield Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030
201-626-READ | email@example.com
The Ustari Cycle: Idolator
Lem Vonnegan and Pitr Mags are Tricksters, minor magicians who only use their own blood to cast spells. When they're forced to assist in a bizarre murder investigation involving a strange magical relic, things get bloody.
The Ustari Cycle: The Bleeder
In the world of blood magic, Bleeders are often treated as livestock — as sources for sacrificial blood. When he makes the desperate decision to join a risky magical heist, Lem Vonnegan’s refusal to bleed anyone but himself for his spells causes tension from the get-go — and then things go really, really bad.
The Night Will Echo Back at You in Another Chicago Magazine #34, 1998.
Glad & Big in Aberrations #34, 1995.
Sliders: Blood and Splendor by Acclaim Comics, 1996. Written with Jeof Vita.
I Don't Even Trust Me in www.webdelsol.com, 1999.
Charlie O'Brien Lights a Dramatic Cigarette in The Portland Review, 2001.
The Amazing Martin Landawer in The Whirligig #3, 2001.
In This Slowly Rising City, So Bereft of Company in The Whirligig #5, 2002.
Time Will Forgive in The Portland Review, Summer 2001.
No Great Trick in The Drexel Online Journal, 2003.
Kiss Them for Me in Bare Bone #3, 2003.
Friend of the Devil in Lullaby Hearse #2, 2003.
The Defragmentation of Thomas Crane in The Urban Bizarre, 2004. (Honorable Mention in The Year's Best Fantasy & Horror 18th Edition)
Dick for Eternity in The Urban Bizarre, 2004.
And All the Days Like It in The Portland Review Volume 51, Issue 1, Fall 2003.
The Unappeasable Host in Bare Bone #5, April 2004.
And I Don't Know the People Who Will Feed Me in Twenty Four Hours #4, 2004.
The Script in Bare Bone #7, May 2005. (Honorable Mention in The Year's Best Fantasy & Horror 19th Edition)
Ringing the Changes in Danger City, April 2005. (chosen to appear in The Best American Mystery Stories 2006, edited by Otto Penzler with guest Editor Scott Turow.)
Watch the World Die in From the Asylum, April 2005.
Self-Inflicted, Glorified in From the Asylum, September 2005.
The Amazing Martin Landawer in Brutarian, Spring 2006.
No Stranger to Frustration in From the Asylum, July 2006.
And Still Insists He Sees the Ghosts in Bare Bone #9, December 2006.
Mr. Benders New House in Brutarian Quarterly, issue 48/49.
When the Man Comes Around in The Whirligigzine #1, December 2007.
closer in my heart to thee in GUD Magazine , issue 2, Spring 2008. (Honorable Mention, Best Horror of the Year, edited by Ellen Datlow)
Drum Trial in Strange, Weird & Wonderful Magazine, Fall 2008.
Sift, Almost Invisible, Through in the Mystery Writer's of America Anthology "Crimes by Moonlight", edited by Charlaine Harris. (2010; Honorable Mention in Best Horror of the Year Volume 3, edited by Ellen Datlow)
A Meek and Thankful Heart in Buzzy Magazine (June 2013)
Three Cups of Tea in Hanzai Japan (October 2015)
Howling on for More in Black Denim Lit (January 2016)
Crossed Wires (w/ Stephen Blackmoore) in Urban Allies (August 2016)
The Bonus Situation in Mech: Age of Steel (July 2017)
Nigsu Ga Tesgu in Urban Enemies (August 1, 2017)
Arthur Kill in Mystery Weekly (January 2018)
Supply and Demand, in No Bars and a Dead Battery: The Summer 2018 Owl Canyon Press Short Story Hackathon Contest Winners (October 2018)
Rolls Upon Prank in Mystery Weekly (December 2018)
The Company I Keep in Life Is Short and Then You Die, edited by Kelley Armstrong (September 2019)
Zilla, 2015 in The Lascaux Review (September 2019)
Sometimes people pay me money to write things. I'd be delighted to take your money, too. Here are some of the freelance pieces I've done with a byline. You may not want to read the stuff I write without a byline.
Over at BookBub I write even more about books and all topics literary.
I write about ... well, just about anything over at Lifehacker.
Over at Chirp I write about audiobooks you should put in your ears.
Over at Grunge, I write about history, literature, pop culture, and weirdness..
I write about books, books, and more books at Book Maverick, and you should read what I write..
I do work for Thrillist.com from time to time. See my work for them here.
I also write about current books and classic literature at Thoughtco on the subject, usually brilliantly, sometimes competently.
I'm a Contributing Editor at Writer's Digest, where I discuss how to write real good and make money at it.
I'm a journalist writing sponsored content for Media Planet.
Hoboken, NJ 07030
Jeff has appeared at multiple conventions, writing groups, library events, and book clubs, and he'd be delighted to appear at yours! Please contact Jeff directly at firstname.lastname@example.org to discuss having him make a presentation, do a reading/signing/Q&A, or other appearance at your venue.
In the No Pants Cocktail Hour, I take a story I published and discuss its inspiration, process, and the business of selling it, telling many humiliating and entertaining stories, and then I read the story. I add in some sound effects and other post-production goodness, too. Check it out!